Monday 26 March 2007

Gia toso mono..

05:26 i wra.

Agapito mou blog, den aisthanomai kai poly omorfa. Niwthw oti ehw apelpistei kai me ehei piasei kai i maniwdis apaisiodoxia mou. Einai ashimo na haneis kapoia atoma apo ti zwh sou. Poso mallon otan den to epilegeis kai to fernun etsi ta pragmata. Kai esy? Esy prospatheis na prosarmosteis. Dyskolo. Kamia fora xehniesai alla den einai pada toso eukolo. Prepei na asholeisai me kati 24/7 ama thes na niwtheis eleutheri kai mi desmia twn skepsewn pu se vasanizun. Alla yparhun stigmes, stigmes opws auti edw pu mporei ena poly mikro pragma na sta thymisei ola. Vasika oxi na sta thymisei. Giati den ta xehnas. Pada vriskontai ekei sto myalo sou. Aplws esy prospoiise oti den yparhun. Aplws sou thymizei oti prospatheis na to xehaseis alla den boreis. Ashimi skepsi. Kai meta arhizei o kataigismos. Padou anamniseis. Vomvardizetai to myalo sou apo eikones, lexeis, protaseis, peristatika, myrwdies, ihous. Kai esy den boreis na kaneis kati. Tipota. Efoson bikes sto tripaki prepei na taxidepseis. Na yposteis olo auto to psyhofthoro flashback. Na klapseis, na fwnaxeis, na ourliaxeis GIATI. Giati poly apla den ginetai alliws. Ashimi skepsi eh? O anthrwpos thelei na pistevei oti borei na kanei ta pada. Oti den yparhei kati to opoio na min borei na epiteuhthei. Oti den yparhei kapoios stohos, kapoia epithimia, kapoio thelw to opoio na min borei na ikanopiisei. Pistevume oti ola einai dynata. Alla den einai. Koita na deis pou oneira svinune. To monadiko pragma to opoio den mporei na mou sterisei kaneis einai to na oneireuomai. To ihe pei palia enas palios filos. Koita pou erhomai sta logia tou. To monadiko pragma to opoio den borie na mou sterisei kaneis einai to na oneireuomai. Ta oneira mou. Oi skepseis mou. Oi proswpikes mou skepseis. Pragmata dika m ou. Mono dika mou. Den ta gnwrizei kaneis. Kalytera. Etsi prepei. Etsi boro na oneireuomai hwris na me krinei kaneis gia ta oneira mou. Otan omws gkremizontai siga siga ena-ena? Otan vlepeis ti zwh sou na min pairnei tin tropi pu tha itheles? Otan eheis dei ola ta oneira sou na gkremizontai to ena meta to allo ti kaneis? Synehizeis na oneireuesai? Synehizeis na pisteueis sta oneira sou? I aplws ta egatalipeis kai baineis kai esy sto tripaki? Makari na iksera. Den einai wraio synaisthima to na xereis oti eheis apogoiteusei kapoion. Poso mallon otan exeis apogoiteusei ton idio sou ton eauto. Giati mono o eautos sou den dehetai dikaiologies. Giati xerei oti einai pseutikes. Den boreis na dikaiologitheis ston idio su ton euato. Oti kai na peis tha xereis oti einai ligo kai oti kata vathos i alitheia einai alli. Mporei kai pikri. Alla opws kai na ehei einai ashimo na zeis me autapates. Kai na petas sta synnefa pisteuontas kai zitontas apiasta pragmata. Kai i apotyhia? I apotyhia den dikaiologitai me tipota. Den mporeis aplws. Otidipote kai na peis stous allus ston idio sou ton euato den pianei. Makari na ihame tin eukairia na ehume dyo meres gia na kanume oti thelume. Dyo meres stis opoies tha ihame ti dynatotita na pragmatopiisume ola ta trela mas oneira. Opoia kai an einai auta. "Tha zisw eleuthero pouli, k oxi koroido sto klouvi". Auto to tragoudi thymamai haraktiristika pu to eiha akousei na to paizun sto ouzo melathron. Kai me ihe valei se skepseis. Me eihe kanei na petaxw gia ligo sto kosmo twn oneirwn. Ekei stin ouzeri. Mehri pou me epaneferan oi goneis mou legodas mou "Ade teleiwse epitelus to fagito sou. Tou hronu pu tha pas Agglia poios tha se taizei?". Xerw kai egw. Mallon kaneis. To fagito me marane. Alla provlimata den ehume. Akoma kai to na oneireuesai apagoreuetai. Gia auto tha ithela na petaxw stin oneirohwra. Gia ligo. Oxi gia poly. Etsi apla gia na parw dunameis. Na pistepsw oti ola einai efikta. Oti den prepei na aparnithw ta oneira mou. Isa-isa prepei na prospathisw gia na ta kanw pragmatikotita. Na ta zisw. Den zitaw kai polla. Dyo meres mono. Oxi parapanw.
Gia toso mono..


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